Beauty Mysteries Revealed, Volume 1: The Ever-Elusive Red Lipstick

This post is inspired by a lunchroom conversation last Friday at my real-life pays-the-bills job, one where a co-worker was lamenting her apparent inability to find a red lipstick. It got me thinking. Anyone who knows me would know that's never a good thing. So here we are.

Finding a particular shade of red lipstick that works for you can be compared to finding the perfect pair of jeans, or a swimsuit that doesn't make you look like a pasty white stuffed sausage, or even true love. The search is often grueling and seemingly without end, even downright maddening at times. But once you find it - whether it be MAC's Russian Red, those JBrand skinnies that turn your ass into a work of art, that magical piece of spandex that makes you feel a bit like Bettie Page or a man who cooks, cleans and has a respectable job - it is something that you will cherish forever. Although it sounds a bit like the cosmetic equivalent of the unicorn, I swear to you - it is possible.

Until, of course, the brand discontinues that shade and you are forced to start the search all over again. But that's another post for another time. My point here is, for something that's been around as long as red lipstick has, why is it so difficult to find the one that's right for you? Maybe this is one of those questions that will never have an answer. Or perhaps, as with so many things, the answers can be found by looking into the past.

Red lipstick, as its fiery hue would imply, has enjoyed a rich and tumultuous history. From the Egyptian women who crushed up carmine beetles and ants to make a red stain for their lips to churches in medieval Europe banning the use of lipstick as a tool of the Devil; from Queen Elizabeth I in the 16th century who made a statement with her own red painted lips only to have Queen Victoria come along three hundred years later and banish it again as something only a common whore would wear, women throughout history have had a love-hate relationship with this particular colour. Could that be one explanation for the trouble we often have in finding that perfect red? That on a Jungian collective unconscious level when we try on a shade of red, its checkered past comes back to make an appearance? Or is that a bit too much of a stretch?

Before I begin over-intellectualizing - although I suspect it might be too late for that - let's say that the colour is just temperamental because of its colour alone. Much as you would with a stoplight, red lipstick is a shade that should be approached with caution. But fear not, for I have put together a handy list to help you navigate this tricky but oh-so-rewarding quest to find your Perfect Red. 

1. Determine your skin tone

As with everything else, your natural skin tone will be a major factor in which makeup shades will look best on you. Most people will fall under one of two categories: warm which is skin with olive or golden tones, or cool which is pink or blue tones. Not sure which side you're on? Take a good look at yourself in the mirror, sans makeup. Does your skin tan easily or appear to be slightly yellowish in areas? Do you look great in colours like peach, camel, or ivory? Chances are good you have a warm skin tone, and you would do well to stay with reds that have more of a tomato, orange or brick shade.



If your skin is on the paler side, has the tendency to blush easily or prominent blue veins and you look fabulous in vibrant colours such as fuchsia, purple and black, then it would be safe to assume you have a cool tone. Your best red would be more toward the pink or plum side of the colour spectrum.




 
2. Try before you buy

This may seem painfully obvious, but it never ceases to amaze me that some women would purchase a lipstick just for how it looks on the model or in the tube. You wouldn't dare do that with jeans or a bikini, so why the hell would you do it with a lipstick? The only way you could get away with this is if you're a bit of a risk-taker who's willing to roll the dice and take their chances. Nothing wrong with that, quite the contrary. Makeup can be a fantastic and highly economical way to safely indulge in a little risky behaviour. Red lipstick, however, is not the best shade to do that with because it is so volatile and can go so horribly wrong. It's something that should be tried on, preferably repeatedly and in different types of lighting conditions, or purchased with the guidance of a seasoned professional who can help you choose the colour that would be best.

3. Be adventurous, but stay true to you
Sure, we all want to be noticed, but for the right reasons. Not for a red lipstick that has more glare than the sun. For example, if you're a pale blonde, you should maybe put down the bright matte red for your first foray into the world of red lips and perhaps dip a toe in by trying a red gloss or stain. Playing with texture is a great gateway to exploring more vibrant colour, and tends to be a lot more work-friendly than the femme fatale red. It might be too seductive for the office. On that same note, you should also keep in mind your personal style as well when shopping for this new addition to your makeup bag. If you are the kind of person for whom lip balm could be considered the extent of your makeup regime, perhaps you may want to ease yourself - and everyone around you - into the world of lipstick. Again, this is where gloss and stains would do well. They allow the wearer to subtly build up the level of colour they're most comfortable with.


And so, now that you have been schooled in the do's and don'ts of red lipstick, I have a challenge to issue.

What beauty mystery would you like to see revealed next? 

Suggestions can be left in the comments below or via the Facebook page. And yes, I do love a challenge.